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The Anti-Joke

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07 Dec 2010 11:44 #11099 by Ryan
::rofl:: ::rofl::

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat.

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

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07 Dec 2010 11:45 #11101 by chairman
::rofl::

Always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last a lifetime.
cricketwindies.com/forum/

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07 Dec 2010 11:48 #11106 by ketchim

Nargis company would go there and set up a Booth ... :blank:

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07 Dec 2010 11:50 #11108 by chairman
look pharma companies save lives

Always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last a lifetime.
cricketwindies.com/forum/

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07 Dec 2010 11:52 #11112 by ketchim
Based on the Profit margin ... :wink:

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07 Dec 2010 11:52 #11113 by chairman

while we make a profit. our foremost intent is to save lives

Always tell someone how you feel because opportunities are lost in the blink of an eye but regret can last a lifetime.
cricketwindies.com/forum/

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07 Dec 2010 12:01 #11128 by Ryan
on topic:

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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07 Dec 2010 12:04 #11132 by Meseret
loving these.  carry on Ryan

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07 Dec 2010 12:06 #11135 by Ryan
A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender finds this very peculiar and realizes he is dreaming. He then wakes up and tells his wife about the ridiculous dream he just had. His wife just ignores him, he rolls over and starts to sob because he knows his marriage is in shambles.

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07 Dec 2010 12:10 #11138 by Ryan
How many trinis does it take to change a light bulb?
Probably only one, depending on the particular type of light fitting.  It's generally not that difficult.

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