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Alien
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15 Jan 2017 11:33 #332499
by Alien
Morning all..
Free Sex A gas station in Halifax was trying to increase it's sales. So the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex With Fill-Up." Soon a Canadian pulls in, fills his tank, and then asks for his free sex.
The gas attendent tells him pick to a number from 1 to 10 if he guesses correctly, he will get his free sex.
The Canadian says, "7" The gas attendent says, "You were close, sir, but the number was 6. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later, the same Canadian, along with his buddy, pulls in for a fill up.
Again he asks for his free sex and again the gas attendent gives him the same story and asks him to guess the correct number.
The Canadian says, "5" The gas attendent says, "Sorry,it was 4.
You were so close, but no free sex this time."
As they were driving away, the Canadian says to his buddy,
"I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."
The buddy replies,"No, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."
::LOL:: ::LOL:: ::LOL::
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16 Jan 2017 12:00 #332624
by Alien
Morning all
Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner.
"Hello?" said a little girl's voice. "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," said Bob. "Is mommy near the phone?" "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Bob said, "But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!" "Yes I do.
He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car just pulled up outside the house." "Okay, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone.
"Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?" "Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."
"Oh my god! What about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that you took out all the water last week to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool, and now he's dead too.
" There was a long pause, then Bob said,
"Swimming pool?
Is this 555-7039?"
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16 Jan 2017 12:05 #332628
by ketchim
Yo ! did we not ask you to take a Hike
Come to eff up our Good morning threads now ????
Note it is after NOON
Chairman skin teeth is NOT a Laff >
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17 Jan 2017 11:52 #332719
by Alien
Heavenly Soldiers
Heavenly Soldiers Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?"
"Of course they do!" protested his mother.
"What makes you ask?"
"There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards."
"Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."
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17 Jan 2017 11:54 #332721
by ketchim
nice to see a miserable wretch make herself noticeable
Unfortunately Alien, no one notice ...hahahahaha ::LOL::
WHY are you posting then logging off ??
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